I feel really bad about my last post. I debated removing it, but I’m going to leave it because, ugly though it may be, it was honest. Never have I claimed to be the nicest person on the planet, though I really do try. Sometimes things get to me though, and I’d be less than honest, sort of pretending that ugly part of me doesn’t exist, if i didn’t share it now and again.
Today I bought the Wii Fit Plus disc (don’t feel right calling it a game), and though I promised myself not exercise until Monday (one week of no bleeding), this is much more laid back than Wii Active (although I did burn 96 calories, woohoo!), and how could I buy it and not check out all the new features?
I am dying…and I mean DYING…to get back into some sort of exercise routine. This future baby mama wants a nice flat belly (oh, how I miss thee!) before we start the FET, and a firmer…everything. I figure if I get into a routine soon, I can keep it up after the BFP rather than feeling like I have to let it go because it’s been too long and is therefore not safe (last time, I hurt my foot, and had to take a 3 week break that cuddled right up to the no exercise rule for IVF, which lasted until week 10 so…you see what I mean…I was scared to exercise in week 11, and then we all know what happened anyhow…).
I really, really want to be able to do something other than yoga during pregnancy. And I’m really, really hoping that because it’s a natural FET (no meds!), I won’t be at all bloated and will be able to enjoy a well-earned flat belly a little longer (cause then I can hide it a little longer, ya know?). And yes, part of it is, I need to have something to focus on, to work towards, while I’m sitting around doing nothing about getting pregnant.
I mean, let’s face it. A little over 2 weeks before I can even think about AF coming…and then I have to wait until at least the AF after that before we may be cycling (which means waiting around until my OPK lights up so we can do a trigger and a transfer). That’s at least 6 1/2 weeks. 8 1/2 weeks if you count towards estimated ET. Right now, that seems like forever (FOREVER!). So, I figure during this lull, I can focus on getting healthy and fit for myself, my baby and a happy, and healthy pregnancy (oh, and an easier delivery and recovery period , too!). Certainly can’t hurt, right?
I don’t see the prior post as suggesting you’re “not nice.”
You’re just keeping it real. Good for you.
Ignorance is well… ignorance… you might as well call it out. And, I agree that I don’t get the comfort in the “God’s plan” message when bad things happen.
Was Haiti’s earthquake part of God’s plan?
Was Katrina part of God’s plan?
Was Michael Jackson’s death part of God’s plan (well, ok, maybe on that one…)?
I don’t see why your loss (or anyone’s loss) would be.
I do understand that miscarriage (and loss) is different for everyone — just like how people deal with losing spouses, partners, parents, siblings, etc. in different ways.
Honestly, I would have thought two years ago that miscarriage, while a sad event, wouldn’t have been that big of a deal to me even had it happened to us. Then we went through the whole IF diagnosis and treatment process. I’ve spent the past 8 months worrying about not crossing the finish line. And, I found myself really troubled and moved by your loss.
I would have laughed at you had you told me that would be my reaction 24 months ago. Why the change?
I think the crucible of IF changes people. And, I don’t think others–no matter how well intentioned–can really understand unless they too have walked in those shoes.
You know, I don’t know if I’ve said this before, but I really can’t express properly how much I appreciate your perspective on things, and more than that, it meant a great deal to me that my loss affected you so profoundly. Perhaps that’s a weird thing to say, but I think it’s partially because, you’re the only male point of view I get really, and it’s refreshing. As you know, my PB, whom I love to death, isn’t very expressive, and I get that he processes things differently. I also think he hides a lot to be strong for me so sometimes I think, maybe I’m getting his perspective, at least part of it, through you. Not sure that makes sense, but the gist is, it brings me some peace, and hearing your perspective makes a difference for me. So thanks.
this is your blog where you are free to speak about whatever you please and don’t you forget it! if someone doesn’t like it they don’t have to read it!
Damn tootin’! And thanks.
Your last post was honest and I’m sure everyone who reads this blog and has gone through IF will have felt exactly the same as you at one time or another, so don’t ever feel you need to apologise for or deny those feelings.
I haven’t been to the gym since we started IVF #1 (well, I went once between the two cycles, but then we went on holiday, so that was it). I feel really flabby and, like you, desperate to get back in the habit before we cycle again. We won’t be going till May at the earliest now, so I have four months to work on getting back in shape – definitely good to have that to focus on. x
We were initially cycle buddies in the first cycle, maybe now we can be “get fit” buddies. I’ll cheer you on regardless of the goal – IF, work, gettin’ rid of flab – I’m there!
if you can’t be honest on your blog, where can you be honest? this is a place for your purest thoughts and emotions. we’re here to read along, and provide support where we can. please don’t feel badly about your last post.
so glad you’re back exercising again. focusing on taking care of you sounds good to me. enjoy it! i bet you’ll have your flat belly back in no time! i love wii active! i don’t have fit plus, but it looks fun too. glad to know its more laid back!
Well, it’s laid back in comparison to say…aerobics or heavy weight lifting, or going for a run, or Wii Active…but it’s definitely not more laid back than the regular Wii Fit. Fit Plus is Wii Fit with more exercises, more games, and more features – like a calorie counter, personalization options, calorie burning goals, etc. Definitely neat, and an improvement over the original. And I hope you’re right about the flat belly. Gotta have something to work towards.